Failing by 0.4 points

As I logged onto my RemComp score, I saw I had failed my Physiology 1 class. I felt this warm, tingling feeling spreading across my body from my cheeks to the toes. It is hard to explain how I felt in words, so I would not even try. It was something that I probably would remember for the rest of my life. My first thought was to drop out. I have by far taken eight courses in my medical career. I successfully passed seven of them. But to me, it did not feel like too good of an achievement. I spent the entire afternoon researching other career options: such as nursing school, PA school, or any other avenue. Failing one class felt like the end of the world. My emotions were intensified to an extreme, and I felt like I failed not just myself, but others as well.

So how do you get back up on your feet after failing? I am still trying to figure it out. In the last 48 hours, what I have realized is that suicide is not the answer; neither is dropping out of medical school. It is rather to continue with the journey that I started all the way through the end. What nobody tells you about medical school is that not only is it difficult to retrain your brain to think, but it is also very difficult to sit for more than 8 hours every single day. The hardest part is not being mean to yourself. You need to have faith in yourself and your journey. Always have positive thoughts in your head, and never call yourself stupid for missing all 10 practice questions in a row. 

One of my good friends once told me that it does not matter if you fail, but what you do to cope with the failure. So, do you give up? Do you continue? Nobody can make that decision but
you. If you are going through something similar, I recommend soul searching. Talk to people who want nothing but the best for you, talk to counselors, or just talk to SOMEONE random. I asked my friends who were in a similar situation about how to cope with this? One of them said that he cannot imagine himself doing anything else other than being a physician. 

Something that I have learned while attending medical school is that no matter what part of the world you are in, it is not easy. If this is not truly your dream, you would not be willing to go through the rigor medical school requires from you. 

One thought on “Failing by 0.4 points

  1. This article tugs at my heart strings. I’m so glad you were able to see that one failed class does not determine your worth! I’m sure you have a million other wonderful things going for you, but those are very hard to see during times of struggle. Job well done for picking yourself up and moving forward. You got this girl.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s